May Mother Earth Bless You

time is an abstract concept humans are not fourth dimensional beings and cannot truly master the ages so the idea that I am labeling 2017 is ironic. this whole year was ironic to be honest. It started off with breaking up with the first women i loved,  i really did love her even though my actions didnt show it, but i fucked up big time and was really reckless with her feelings. I still feel guilty every time and again, a giant mistake i made that i never want to make again. I learned a very simple and common sense lesson at the cost of a very valuable and truly caring person. Ill always care for her and wish her the best becuase she literally shaped me into something better with the lessons and lectures she gave (sometimes yelling but tbh i needed to be yelled at). I kinda burned some bridges with the homies in jasquar i didnt talk to them at all and just wanted to be left alone. I didnt have anyone else to talk to or just hang out besides my cousins. I ended up spending majority of my spring and winter with them going to san diego eating at hole in the wall restaurants with the best food. This was also the time when i started medical cannabis and holy shit did it change my life. I finally felt connected and grounded to something real, it helped me process insecurities, the breakup, and other random bs that life just through at me. A therapy session with my cousins and i passing around a joint changed my life for the better and i love them to bits. Summer rolled around and i locked down an internship with one my professors it was a sick gig getting paid 11 an hour to study insects. Before  summer school started  i cut out all the “friendships” that were toxic and needed to end, i said goodbye and thats the last i ever want to talk to her. This was long overdue and im sorry that i couldnt see that she was manipulative person, i hurt some people becuase of this, it felt like i lived in an alternate reality at the time. Im happier now because of the choice i made to leave that part of my old life behind. That entire summer i had the house to myself for days and honestly it was dope living the young bachelor life. The motel sold so no more Arizona trips and my family can finally buy a house to live in.  This quarter was hard as fuck man i learned so much but it was exhausting but a worthwhile experience. I reconnected with the homies and its chill now. My relationship with my sibling also improved from stranger into a real brother. So cheers to 2017 its lessons, gifts, tragedies, and misfortunes. Its winter break so im gonna light this joint listen to some music and vibe out. Peace!

-Rajan Bhakta

Numonik